Don’t hesitate another day …

A new year is upon us – a time for change, a golden temporal opportunity to take action, to make our lives better, to accomplish our wildest dreams, to adopt a sloth …I know what you’re thinking, amigos:

“Really? Adopt a sloth? I’ve wanted to do that ever since I was a kid and Uncle Roscoe brought one home after he escaped from prison in Nicaragua …”

Well, now’s the time and the time is now, as Gen. George Armstrong Custer used to say with a confident grin.

I first became aware of the wonderful possibilities for tree sloth adoption last month when a young woman of my acquaintance spun into the newsroom with an ear-to-ear grin and a fistful of recently downloaded documents.

“This is, like, the best thing ever. It’s better than when they released the collector’s edition of ‘Anchorman.’ It’s cooler than pirates. It’s more fun than finding Dick Cheney raiding your refrigerator. It’s Adopt-a-Sloth!”

(OK, OK, so she gets a little enthusiastic on occasion.)

The program of which she spoke is offered by the Buttercup Sloth Rescue & Rehabilitation Center in Limon, Costa Rica, and gives each of us, at least figuratively, a chance to adopt a lovably lethargic two- or three-toed tree-dwelling edentate from South America.

The center is dedicated to the study, protection and rehabilitation of sloths, a unique and extremely slow-moving species that has become increasingly endangered as civilization encroaches upon their habitat.

“And they’re always smiling and waaaaaay kicked back all the time. Check ’em out!” my sloth-fancying friend pointed out.

Rehabilitating Central American sloths is more than a full-time job, so the Buttercup Center (named after the facility’s very first rescued sloth) needs all the help it can get, both from volunteers and from adoptive benefactors.

And for those of us who simply don’t have the time to become a sloth rehab volunteer, adoption is, perhaps, the best way we can offer a helping hand to these usually upside-down tree dwellers who have never been known to make a hasty move.

The center offers three adoption options, starting out with a $100 standard package that includes:

  • An 8-by-10-inch color photo of the sloth you will be adopting.
  • Color information card and a personal history of your sloth.
  • An official Sloth Adoption Certificate.
  • Annual issue of the Buttercup Newsletter.
  • A Buttercup keychain.There’s also a premium, $150 adoption package that includes a T-shirt, and a classroom sloth adoption program at $10 per student.

Want to learn more?  Of course you do:

Be the first one on your block to adopt a sloth.

It’s, like, waaaaay more fun than waiting for Dick Cheney to raid your refrigerator…

Originally published January 9, 2016