My old ’60s sidekick, Sapper, has adopted a new persona – that of a reclusive Oregon leftover gourmet.
Or perhaps that’s gourmet of leftovers…
I mean, he’s left over, but so is most of the food he consumes.
Perhaps I should explain.
(Sure, why not?)
The phone was ringing insistently a few afternoons ago and, since telemarketers usually wait until I’m eating dinner and Sapper invariably calls between midnight and 4 a.m., I felt reasonably safe in answering the infernal device.
Sapper, forever lost in the Age of Aquarius after ingesting some unidentified herbs in Bolinas in 1968, had thrown me a telephonic curve ball and had uncharacteristically rung during daylight hours.
“Had to call you, bro. I’ve got a recipe that’ll make Marie Callender look like John Madden. We’ll revolutionize leftovers. Kids’ll love us. Housewives will worship us. We’ll open franchises an’ get fat as a couple o’ Corpus Christi cowboys on a pork binge…”
I could have hung up, but the mental picture of me and Sapper as fat as a couple of Corpus Christi cowboys on a pork binge was just too intriguing to let go.
“I discovered it while I was cleanin’ out the ‘fridge in the van. There was like some old leftover macaroni and cheese and some old leftover mayonnaise and those lil’ bitty smoked sausage things and a dead trout I kinda forgot about,” Sapper continued on breathlessly. “I tossed the trout, but I put the rest of it together for what I’m gonna call ‘The Ultimate Oregon Cold Maraconi and Cheese Sandwich Dee-light.’ That way we can copyright the dee-light part when this taste sensation sweeps the nation.”
Sapper then proceeded to give me his secret recipe for leftover macaroni sandwich success. It’s really not bad – it just sounds that way. And if any of you think I’m going to suffer through this alone, you’re crazy.
Here’s Sapper’s latest recipe for success. Enjoy.
Ultimate Oregon Cold Macaroni and Cheese Sandwich Dee-light
8 lil’ cocktail sausages, chopped
1 box extra orange macaroni and cheese (anything from the local Dollar Tree or smashed food store will do)
1/4 large onion, chopped
1/2 teaspoon. garlic powder
1 tablespoon mayonnaise or reasonable facsimile
1 splash of reddish hot sauce
2 slices of sourdough bread
Prepare macaroni and cheese as per label instructions (the ones on the box…)
Stir in onion, sausage and garlic powder.
Let sit in refrigerator or in cold climate for 2 to 3 days.
After macaroni has become sufficiently left over, take two slices of sourdough bread and slather with mayonnaise-like compound. Spoon large globs of cold macaroni and cheese onto bread, splash with reddish hot sauce and combine two pieces of sourdough bread to make a sandwich. Serve cold.
* To make two sandwiches, double this recipe.
Bon appetit, amigos, and don’t say I never did you any favors…
Originally published May 12, 2002