Sonogram cookies and much more!

Scrolling haphazardly through some recent e-mails, I came across a unique new retail item that’s guaranteed to be bigger than Rubik’s Cube and Tickle Me Elmo combined – the sonogram cookie.

According to an urgent missive from Kristin Burley of Orca Communications, sonogram cookies are going to be the biggest thing since the last biggest thing – and maybe even bigger!

Picture This Sonogram Cookies by Good Fortunes, Kristin explains, allow soon-to-be mothers to uniquely personalize bite-sized baked goods with an edible sonogram image of their soon-to-be-born baby.

“These gorgeous edible cookies are the perfect way to display a sonogram in a unique and special way,” Kristin enthuses in her e-mail press release.

“Simply send Good Fortunes the picture and they will print it on edible paper with edible ink to create the Sonogram Cookie!”

The delectable white chocolate-enrobed Graham crackers are sprinkled with colorful edible confetti or non-parielles to frame the sonogram. Then the cookie is tied with a gorgeous ribbon to match. It’s picture perfect!” Kristin adds.

Uh-huh…

This is clearly an idea whose time has come, but I think Kristin and the gang at the Good Fortunes cookie company are selling themselves short on this one. Sure, baby sonograms are cuter than a squirrel with ping pong ball – particularly to cookie-loving moms everywhere – but there’s a lot out there to celebrate and sonograms aren’t just for family fetus photographs.

Not by a long shot, amigos.

Sonograms are a recognized and commonplace medical tool for identifying and tracking a variety of medical conditions, including tumors, prostate problems and liver disorders.

Why not celebrate your healthy prostate with a sonogram cookie featuring the lively little fella in all his prostatious glory? You can bet you’ll get lots of knowing nods of approval when you pass your healthy prostate sonogram cookies around the breakroom at work or during the church picnic.

Plus, this logical expansion of the concept gives us guys an opportunity to get in on the edible sonogram cookie phenomenon since we rarely, if ever, carry unborn children around in our non-existent wombs…

A sound prostate, of course, is only the beginning when it comes time to celebrate health and happiness with a heaping plate of sonogram cookies.

Several years ago, after a four-year drunk, my doctor suggested that I have a sonogram done on my liver to see if there was anything even vaguely functional about it anymore. As luck would have it, there was, and I was overjoyed.

Unfortunately, sonogram cookies had not yet been invented and I could celebrate only by bounding up and down the street and through my workplace shouting “Hey, check it out – I still got a liver!”

Oh, well, I’d guess that those sonograms are still somewhere in my medical records. Maybe I can mark the 20th anniversary of my liver’s survival with a bodacious sonogram-cookie-and-tea party next year.

Hey, it doesn’t get any better than that, amigos…

Originally published April 30, 2006

 

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